Wed. May 14, 2014
I just e-mailed my sister, and it reminded me that there is something else I guess I should post on here.  Again, not that anyone else really cares what I think, but . . . therapy is good!!!  :-)  So, I guess I one thing I haven't really said out loud, but I have felt is that this isn't a "bad thing that happened to me just by chance."  I can't say God GAVE me cancer (that would be a weird thing to think) but I feel very, very strongly that He knew this was going to happen and allowed it because it was a part of His plan for our family.  He didn't do it because He is unkind, or uncaring, or even because He's mad at me.  Actually, I feel very strongly that the reason He allowed this to happen is just the opposite . . . there are some blessings He wants to give us, and in order to qualify for those blessings, there is some learning that needs to take place first.  This is the way--the only way---for that valuable learning to take place, and if we shrink from this and allow ourselves to dwell on feelings of anger or victimization we will not learn those things, and thus will deny ourselves of whatever blessings He has planned for us.  I know this is the case, and it helps me to have a better attitude about it (even though it's still scary sometimes.)  Assuming I survive this, which is what I'm shooting for, the victory will be God's, not really mine.

I know I have been guided in choosing doctors . . . the first surgeon I chose, I just didn't feel good about, even though there was no "reason" why I should feel the way I did.  I finally recognized what I was feeling, and listened and switched to the one I was feeling good about.  I don't know why, but I do know that I have felt the Holy Ghost here with me more this last few weeks than ever before, and that really helps to make it easier to turn it over to Heavenly Father.

Yesterday I went to the surgeon and got the drains removed!  Hooray!!!  They were kind of uncomfortable.  And even though I'm still a little sore today, it's just one step closer to healing, so even the soreness is o.k.  A good friend of our family, Pat, drove me out there, and we spent the day together and went to the Rexburg temple.  It was wonderful.  She's a gem . . . I'm so glad to have her in my little circle.  What a sweet lady!!!