Tuesday, May 27, 2014
It's a beautiful day!  The grass is green, the weather is nice, the blossoms on the trees smell good.  Funny, those are things I never took time to notice very much before.  Don't get me wrong--I tried to take time to smell the roses, but things like this really do make every day a gift from God!

I feel like I've been through an abyss, and come out the other side surprisingly--and gratefully--alive!  My first treatment really wasn't that bad . . . but the word tired doesn't even do justice.  It feels good to feel good!  I am very, very grateful for effective nausea medications.  The kind of stuff you hear other people going through--I didn't have any of it with this first one.  Just FATIGUE.  :-)  I know that I still have more to go through, but I knew from the very first appointment with the oncologist that I would have to take this problem one chunk at a time.  To try to think of the whole treatment schedule was just too overwhelming.  So, for today, I'm loving the weather and the fact that I have emerged from hybernation.

I learned one other new thing today.  My cousin called me.  He lives out of state, and I haven't seen him for a couple of years now.  He had seen a picture on Facebook of my brother with his head shaved--another brother, not the one I mentioned previously--and texted him about it . . . and then found out about my diagnosis.  I'm so touched that he took the time to call, but not surprised.  He's like that . . . just a nice, nice guy.  He's so genuine.  If he can help, he will.  No questions asked, no expectations in return.

So, if the roles had been reversed, would I have called?  I'm ashamed to say, no, probably not.  Why?  Because I have always been too worried that I would say the wrong thing, or not know what to say.  I have always doubted that anything I could do or say would make any real difference.  It always seemed to make sense, but now it sounds so silly.  I realize that on my end of things, each of those phone calls, texts, cards, etc. is SO appreciated, no matter how long it has been since I've talked to them, or what the last conversation we had was about.  And, even if they were to say the wrong thing, I think I would understand that the thing that motivates them to pick up the phone in the first place is love.  So, even if the conversation were to go a bit awkwardly, I would still feel their love and concern.  I guess there's another lesson for me to remember!