Sunday, September 28
This past Thursday would have been my next chemo, but guess what?  I don't have to have another chemo!!!  Hooray!

I am feeling better all the time, and it feels fantastic.  My toes are still a bit numb, but it is decreasing.  and I still have chemo brain a little (so frustrating to forget things!)  But it's so nice to have a little break before I start radiation!  And you should see my fingernails!  I took a picture, but I don't know if it will show up; my fingernails have stripes on them.  No, it's not fingernail polish.  The chemo slowed the growth of my fingernails after each treatment, so I have 5 stripes on my nails (the 6th one hasn't grown out far enough to see yet.)  They are weird and kind of cool, but not worth having chemo to get!  You can see it best on my ring finger.

My hair is starting to grow just a tiny bit.  In some places you can just start feeling a little bit of stubble on my head.  I don't really know how long it will take for it to grow back.  My kids and I were discussing Halloween costumes and I was thinking of all the people I could dress up as with a bald head, like Mr. Clean.  (But wouldn't it be great if I didn't have a bald head by then?)  I guess if I'm still bald on Halloween, I'll look forward to Thanksgiving (who would ever have thought to be thankful for hair?) or Christmas (a great Christmas gift!)  I'm really looking forward to having hair again, just because with hair I looked like everyone else, more or less.  That meant I was invisible, which is OK by me.  But without, people notice me and remember me.  They are always very kind and very concerned, but I am beginning to look forward to being invisible once again.  Just a couple of examples:  I've shopped at a certain store in the mall for years, and been helped by an employee there, but he never "remembered" me . . . until now.  Now he does, because my head wear makes me "stand out."  I was with my family in a local restaurant recently, and a man (who had had a bit too much to drink) came up to me and asked if I was suffering from cancer.  I wasn't offended, just caught COMPLETELY off guard.  Of course, it was the skull cap that gave it away.  I suppose I could solve this problem by buying a wig, but a wig just isn't me!  Plus, as I discussed in a previous post, there are very few wigs in the size I need (you measure from hairline to hairline.)  I COULD make a larger size work, but, like I said, it's just not me.

However, when I think back about that time when I was first diagnosed, and the oncologist went over the treatment plan and told me I would lose my hair, I was horrified.  The thought of losing my hair was as awful as the cancer diagnosis itself.  But, you know, I adjusted.  I've done just fine.

And, so, before I close, I have to tell you a little story.  My 6 year old son always makes a "monkey face" and a "gorilla face."  It's so dang cute.  So, one day, we were sitting around the table eating dinner as a family, and he made his "monkey face."  We all laughed, and then my husband told me I should make a monkey face because "with your bald head it will probably be really funny."  So I did, and everyone got a good laugh.  As this opportunity is hopefully passing shortly, I made a monkey face this morning and had my son take a picture.  I did it before putting on my make-up so it would look more monkey-like.  Prepare yourself . . .

And now, to replace the horrific image that is now stuck in your mind, my "baby" saw me making a monkey face, and imitated me.  And it was just so stinkin' cute I had to take a picture.

Have a great day!  :-)