Wed. October 22, 2014

I am as excited as I would be if I had won the lottery--which isn't likely since I've never played it!(Snicker, snicker.)  I am growing hair!  I still have that fine peach fuzz all over my head.  (I've been pretty worried about that, actually---it's growing in patches, and I've been afraid I would need a wig AFTER my hair grows back in.)  I still don't know how that's going to turn out, but last night I was looking closely in the mirror, and saw tiny eyebrow hairs just starting to show!  I have been lucky enough to keep my eyebrows and eyelashes, but they have definitely thinned, and I have a "bald" patch in the middle of my eyelashes on one eye.  After I saw the eyebrow stubble, I looked really closely at that bald patch, and it looks like I might have a couple of eyelashes starting to grow in there.

Then I felt my legs and my head, and they both are starting to feel a little stubbly.  Though it has been nice to not have to shave my legs since June, it was a trade-off!  I have to say, I would rather have hair and have to shave legs, tweeze eyebrows, etc. . . . it's all or none!  I won't have a head of hair by Halloween, and maybe not even by Christmas, but it's coming!  There's hope!

Radiation is going well.  I'm beginning to get sore.  I guess that's no surprise.  I asked the Dr. how radiation can cure cancer and be a cancer risk at the same time.  Here's the simplified answer.  Radiation interrupts the cell growth, I think by messing up the DNA sequencing, if I remember what he said correctly.  So, shooting radiation into the cancer area messes up the cell division, and since cancer cells divide more quickly than healthy cells, it helps to stop the cancer cells from growing.  However, it can also damage the healthy cells, and that's why it is a cancer risk.  But, he gave me some numbers to go on . . . in my case, the risk of the cancer returning without radiation is 50%.  With radiation, he said it was about 5%.  Then add the less than 1% risk of the radiation CAUSING cancer, and it's pretty clear which option is better.  :-)  They are also doing radiation on the lymph nodes in my neck, because the lymph nodes under the arm drain to the ones in the neck, so just in case anything got away, we can zap it.  Also, most of the scare about radiation causing cancer comes from situations where the dose was much, much higher, such as atomic bombs, etc.  Radiation is a cancer risk, but the risk is relative to the dose.

It is really fascinating to see how they do this whole radiation thing . . . it is a very precise procedure.  They take me in, lay me on the table, and then start tugging the sheet under me to get my body just exactly in the same position every day.  They use a laser light-thing to line up to the 4 tattoos that I am now the proud owner of.  (They are tiny--they look like someone jabbed me with a pencil lead.)  They also shine a light "ruler" on my chest in order to get everything precisely where they want it.  Then whirr, click, click, and in just a few minutes, I'm on my way.

I have to say, there are some strange aspects of this whole thing . . . like wearing bubble wrap in the fold of skin made in my neck when I raise my arms over my head.  Yep, every day!  And having to have my breast taped down to the table--had that experience yesterday.  If you want to know more about that, I'll explain that one in person.  Sigh . . . no dignity left at all.

Well, speaking of the loss of dignity, I better get ready to go to the Dr. again.  I feel like an old person that has all their "social outings" by way of medical appointments.