Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Sometimes I am amazed as I see things unfold. Life has a lot of little coincidences, and it's amazing when I am able to look back and see that some of them weren't coincidental at all . . .
I can't remember if I mentioned this in a previous post, but in December, a member of our bishopric (Brother Wells) was talking to me and he asked me if I would talk at a 5th Sunday meeting sometime in the future about the things I have learned through this delightful breast cancer experience. In hindsight, it seems like he hadn't "pre-planned" to ask me; it seems it just came to him then, though I don't know for sure about that, of course. I do remember him saying he needed to ask the bishop and get back to me. I told him I really had no desire to do it, but I felt like Heavenly Father expects us to try to help each other, so I would talk . . . I guess. He later talked to the bishop and got approval. During the "waiting time" I began jotting down thoughts, etc, in preparation for that future event.
Fast forward to March, when there was a 5th Sunday coming up. As anticipated, I was asked to speak. As I was preparing, I kept thinking about talking about medical stuff--do your exams, what to look for, etc. As I was preparing, I kept trying to take that part of my talk out, feeling it wasn't super-appropriate to include it in a 5th Sunday meeting, with the youth there, BESIDES which, I don't have any real medical training, and so I don't really feel that I am qualified. I wondered if we should just do an Enrichment on breast cancer instead, but concluded that since they are generally poorly attended, that might not really help get the word out to the women. I also realized (sorry to be graphic) that men really do need to know this--sometimes they are the ones that notice there's a problem with their wife. I was really stewing about this. One day, a week or so before I was to speak, Brother Wells caught me in the hall at church, and asked me how the preparations were going. I told him I was working on it, told him my problem, and then asked if it would be ok if I talked a little about the medical angle. He said he thought so, and the bishop, who had just come up behind him, said he thought so, too.
So, I prepared . . . I tried to think of which medical things I SHOULD say, and which things I SHOULDN'T say. It was hard, and it was nerve-wracking. I gave the 5th Sunday talk, even the squirmy, uncomfortable parts about the medical stuff, and didn't think another thing about it . . . I was just glad to be done!
Last Thursday evening, my visiting teaching partner stopped by, but I wasn't home. So, when I got home, I called to see what she needed. She told me that there was a lady in our ward that was there that day who had just found out she had breast cancer. The next day, I took her some flowers and visited with her. She told me she had been a bit uncomfortable with the medical part of my talk (I think everyone was!) but had, one week later (on Easter Sunday) decided she should do an exam. She found a lump, which turned out to be cancerous. She had surgery yesterday. She doesn't know her treatment plan yet, but it will include chemo.
This morning, as I have been thinking about the events up to this point, I am realizing how many things that I thought were "coincidence" that are not. Brother Wells just "happened" to think of asking me to speak. I just "couldn't" leave out that uncomfortable medical part, even though I kept trying to re-write my talk without it. This morning, I have been trying to think of how I can best help her through this experience---how I can pay it forward---and all of a sudden, something I saw just last week that may be of help came to my mind. Coincidence? I don't think so.
I won't be publishing this post right away. At this point, this lady is still trying to keep a low profile, as she grapples with the news. I understand--I've been there! But when it's common knowledge--it WILL go viral--I'll post it. And I am going to try my very hardest to pay it forward--to help her as others have helped me.
Sunday, April 26th
I can post now; I've heard it from other sources. And, as I am usually the very last to hear about anything, I'm sure I can safely assume it is common knowledge now.
In other news, my dad had surgery for his prostate cancer on Friday. The MRI they did on Wednesday showed that the cancer went to the very edge of the prostate; they were hopeful that it had not spread beyond. Pathology results will take a week, so we don't know any more yet.
Gotta run---I have a Primary lesson to prepare!
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Thurs. April 16, 2015
Just checkin' in . . .
I had a mammogram a few weeks ago. Everything looked ok. Whew. Relief!
And yesterday, I went out to the Dr. to have an ultrasound. I keep feeling some hard "pinches" in my abdomen. The Dr. thinks my ovaries are trying to "wake up" but I really wanted to just MAKE SURE we weren't missing anything. Everything looks good. Again, relief!
I wonder how long it will be before I stop "looking over my shoulder" constantly? I don't want to be a hypochondriac, but I have to say, this has really made me so aware of how quickly things can change.
I am doing really well emotionally, now. I'm enjoying life--trying to squeeze out every bit of joy I can each day. What a blessing it is to be alive!!!
Just checkin' in . . .
I had a mammogram a few weeks ago. Everything looked ok. Whew. Relief!
And yesterday, I went out to the Dr. to have an ultrasound. I keep feeling some hard "pinches" in my abdomen. The Dr. thinks my ovaries are trying to "wake up" but I really wanted to just MAKE SURE we weren't missing anything. Everything looks good. Again, relief!
I wonder how long it will be before I stop "looking over my shoulder" constantly? I don't want to be a hypochondriac, but I have to say, this has really made me so aware of how quickly things can change.
I am doing really well emotionally, now. I'm enjoying life--trying to squeeze out every bit of joy I can each day. What a blessing it is to be alive!!!
Monday, April 6, 2015
Monday, April 6th
I made an April's Fools Breakfast for my kids on April Fool's Day.
The juice is real orange juice, but I added unflavored gelatin to make it "orange juice" jello. The "toast" is pound cake, buttered and toasted in a frying pan. The "egg white" is vanilla yogurt. The "egg yolk" is 1/2 apricot (canned.) Snicker. I'm not smart--I found it in a magazine, and decided to give it a whirl! It was kinda fun.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to speak about all the things I've learned from this whole breast cancer adventure at a 5th Sunday meeting in church. Most of the things I talked about, I have talked about in posts on here, so I'm not going to post my talk. It was actually a really hard talk to prepare . . . usually when I have been asked to talk in church, I have been given a topic, or a source to get my info from. Then I just go to those sources, or the scriptures, regurgitate what other people (smarter than myself, of course) have written, add my own comments and thoughts, and that's it! No worries. This one was harder--this one was "all me." I worried and fretted about whether the things I was preparing were "appropriate", "doctrinally correct", etc. I'm grateful it's over, and hope that in some way, something that I have learned can be of benefit to someone else.
Along that topic . . . this morning I had to take my kids to a medical appointment. When I got there, one of the people that works there quietly asked me if I knew about one of the women that works there. I said, "No." She then told me that because of my experience, they have all been diligent in doing their exams, having mammograms, etc. (One time when I was in there, I told them my symptoms and the shadow/dimpling that I saw that made me go to the Dr.) Well, she said that this lady was doing her exam in the mirror and saw a "shadowy" spot on the underside of her breast. She went to her Dr., and had a mammogram. She ended up having a biopsy, which came up positive. A few weeks ago, she underwent a double mastectomy. Her sentinal nodes were negative for cancerous cells, so she probably won't have to do chemo, and she won't have to do radiation. I don't know if the shadow is the reason she caught it, or if she would have caught it anyway, but I can honestly say, if my experience causes ONE woman to catch it earlier than I did, it will have been worth it. I am so glad she caught it early!!!!
There's another lady that lives here. She found her cancer in about November. She had a double mastectomy, and they didn't think she was going to have to do chemo. I just heard that she is doing chemo after all, and has been pretty sick. Poor lady. That stuff is brutal. I would like to do something nice for her, but I don't know what to do yet . . . or how to do it. I'll have to keep working on this one . . .
One other thing I would like to mention, that I talked about in my church talk. When I think about the story of Joseph (of Egypt), I often wonder what his thoughts were when he was sitting down in the bottom of a pit, when he was sold, and later, when he was sitting in prison after having chosen the RIGHT thing. Was he bitter? Did he wonder why things weren't working out? He had chosen the right, after all! Did he know how things were going to work out? WE know the end of that story, and can see how it all fit into the "plan." But did he see that? Or did he just feel bitter, sad, or angry because things weren't working out right then?
One day, I was washing dishes. That's boring, so my mind was wandering. All of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, a phrase from my patriarchal blessing popped into my head. It was a part that had not previously been fulfilled. All of a sudden, I realized that it was in the process of being fulfilled, BECAUSE of this cancer experience. That happened again a few weeks later, with a different phrase. It was another witness that this whole mess was a necessary part of Heavenly Father's plan for me and for my family. I don't know why yet, and I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that this learning opportunity was essential for our growth. Knowing that makes it easier to accept it and have faith in a loving Father regarding my family's future, whatever it holds.
I made an April's Fools Breakfast for my kids on April Fool's Day.
The juice is real orange juice, but I added unflavored gelatin to make it "orange juice" jello. The "toast" is pound cake, buttered and toasted in a frying pan. The "egg white" is vanilla yogurt. The "egg yolk" is 1/2 apricot (canned.) Snicker. I'm not smart--I found it in a magazine, and decided to give it a whirl! It was kinda fun.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to speak about all the things I've learned from this whole breast cancer adventure at a 5th Sunday meeting in church. Most of the things I talked about, I have talked about in posts on here, so I'm not going to post my talk. It was actually a really hard talk to prepare . . . usually when I have been asked to talk in church, I have been given a topic, or a source to get my info from. Then I just go to those sources, or the scriptures, regurgitate what other people (smarter than myself, of course) have written, add my own comments and thoughts, and that's it! No worries. This one was harder--this one was "all me." I worried and fretted about whether the things I was preparing were "appropriate", "doctrinally correct", etc. I'm grateful it's over, and hope that in some way, something that I have learned can be of benefit to someone else.
Along that topic . . . this morning I had to take my kids to a medical appointment. When I got there, one of the people that works there quietly asked me if I knew about one of the women that works there. I said, "No." She then told me that because of my experience, they have all been diligent in doing their exams, having mammograms, etc. (One time when I was in there, I told them my symptoms and the shadow/dimpling that I saw that made me go to the Dr.) Well, she said that this lady was doing her exam in the mirror and saw a "shadowy" spot on the underside of her breast. She went to her Dr., and had a mammogram. She ended up having a biopsy, which came up positive. A few weeks ago, she underwent a double mastectomy. Her sentinal nodes were negative for cancerous cells, so she probably won't have to do chemo, and she won't have to do radiation. I don't know if the shadow is the reason she caught it, or if she would have caught it anyway, but I can honestly say, if my experience causes ONE woman to catch it earlier than I did, it will have been worth it. I am so glad she caught it early!!!!
There's another lady that lives here. She found her cancer in about November. She had a double mastectomy, and they didn't think she was going to have to do chemo. I just heard that she is doing chemo after all, and has been pretty sick. Poor lady. That stuff is brutal. I would like to do something nice for her, but I don't know what to do yet . . . or how to do it. I'll have to keep working on this one . . .
One other thing I would like to mention, that I talked about in my church talk. When I think about the story of Joseph (of Egypt), I often wonder what his thoughts were when he was sitting down in the bottom of a pit, when he was sold, and later, when he was sitting in prison after having chosen the RIGHT thing. Was he bitter? Did he wonder why things weren't working out? He had chosen the right, after all! Did he know how things were going to work out? WE know the end of that story, and can see how it all fit into the "plan." But did he see that? Or did he just feel bitter, sad, or angry because things weren't working out right then?
One day, I was washing dishes. That's boring, so my mind was wandering. All of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, a phrase from my patriarchal blessing popped into my head. It was a part that had not previously been fulfilled. All of a sudden, I realized that it was in the process of being fulfilled, BECAUSE of this cancer experience. That happened again a few weeks later, with a different phrase. It was another witness that this whole mess was a necessary part of Heavenly Father's plan for me and for my family. I don't know why yet, and I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that this learning opportunity was essential for our growth. Knowing that makes it easier to accept it and have faith in a loving Father regarding my family's future, whatever it holds.
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