Saturday, November 22, 2014

Well, my last post was at my "low point."  I had some responsibilities for one of my callings, and had some decisions to make.  At that point, I was really feeling the pressure . . . but now that's a lot better.  :-)

So, I have one more day of radiation.  I have felt really good through the whole thing, just a little more tired than usual.  Some nights, I have to turn family responsibilities over to my husband and head for bed early---just can't stay awake one more minute.  But during the day, I have felt good.  The last week or so, the radiation burns have become pretty painful.  But, wow!  I made it to almost the end before they really started to get to me.  I've done well.  (Interestingly enough, they say that darker skinned people have a harder time with the burns . . . so, once again, I have been very blessed.)  They have given me some products to help out--- 100% aloe to use all along.  Then when it's gotten worse, silvadine (I may have spelled that wrong) cream, which really helps.  And also, sheets of Mepilex.  Those are sheets of foam--think of a large piece of gauze and you have about the correct thickness.  On one side it's foam, and on the other, it's adhesive.  You stick the adhesive to your skin.  I don't know how and why they work, but they are AWESOME!!!!!!  They really, really help.  :-)  I'm feeling really lucky that they have taken such good care of me.  I would recommend these great medical people to anyone---I think of them as friends, now, and I'm going to miss them when I'm done.  I have also met other patients, and have discovered that when you both have cancer, you have a natural "bond" because you are going through the same things.  I have met the nicest people.

The last week or so as I have made the daily drive, I have thought a lot about how much I have been blessed.  It's funny . . . I had a lot of blessings before this all happened, and I was appreciative, but this has made me so much more aware.

The time away from home and family has been hard, but we have kind of gotten into a routine, so it has started to smooth out some.  I thought I would HATE  the drive, but I haven't.  Until the last 2 weeks, I have had perfect fall weather so the roads have been good.  Thinking back, I have seen such pretty scenery as I have driven.  When I first started, the fall colors were on, and they were at their peak of brilliance.  As the weeks have gone on, I have watched the leaves gradually drop off the trees.  With our recent snows, I have seen scenery that looks like something off a Christmas card.  I have seen evergreen trees, heavy with snow.  On other days, when it's bitterly cold, I have seen frost clinging to the bare branches of trees.  The other day, there were several deer out near the road--one buck and several does.  It has been beautiful.

Another blessing is that it has given me the opportunity to do my Christmas shopping early.  I am almost done.  I have NEVER, EVER been this far along this early.  With a lot of other responsibilities in my callings and extended family that are coming my way shortly, having my shopping all done is going to really going to help me out!  I'm super excited about that!

My eyebrows have grown back so much I don't need eyebrow pencil at all anymore.  My eyelashes are coming . . . still kinda stubby and straight, but there!  I don't know how much more they will grow, or if they will ever curl at all, but you know, if they don't grow more, and they stay straight, that's a small price to pay for my life.  My hair is long enough and thick enough now that you can see it.  :-)  It's growing pretty slowly, but coming!  It's really fine--very soft like baby hair.  On the down side, I'm having to shave my legs and armpits again.  Oh, well.  It's worth it.

One thing I need to be prepared for that I mentioned previously in passing.  I have been very focused on fighting cancer.  When this is all over and life gets back to "normal" (whatever that is!) I need to be prepared for the fear that's going to come along with day-to-day living, hoping it's not growing in there, and being afraid it might.  I felt a little of that last night.  I had always thought that once the treatments were over, it would be back to business as usual, but I can see it won't be.  So, I need to be thinking about how to manage that so the fear doesn't swarm in and rule my life.

Well, these kids are fighting.  Time to have breakfast and start Saturday cleaning jobs!