Monday, May 25, 2015

Wow, it has been a long time since I have posted, and there's a lot to say!

First, I had a great opportunity April 27-May 1 to go to Yellowstone to chaperone my daughter's school class to Expedition Yellowstone!  It was awesome---I learned SO much and it was all so interesting.  But the best part was being able to spend time with my daughter.  Loved it, and would go again in a heartbeat!

My dad got his pathology results back.  It looks like the cancer WAS indeed all contained within the prostate---no radiation or other treatments needed.  The recovery was rougher than he anticipated, but he's doing well.  Just hating all the residual effects (meaning the changes that are a natural result of having had the surgery.)  I understand . . . these medical things are hard on a person's dignity.  Sometimes I still, even a year later, just wish I could have my old body back, cancer free, of course.  But I am so grateful to be blessed as I have, and so grateful that he has done as well as he has.

The lady in my ward is hanging in there.  She hasn't started chemo yet.  I want to help her in any way I can---to pay forward the things so many others did for me.

Today is Memorial Day.  It has been the best Memorial Day I remember ever having.  My dad's first cousin was killed in action in Vietnam, 45 years ago today.  I have grown up hearing about him--and have always felt sad and had a great respect for him and for what he did.  Well, 10 years ago today (was it really that long ago?), his best friend and Platoon Sergeant contacted a Bishop living here, hoping to make contact with any of the family that remained here.  In some ways, his being able to even get hold of the Bishop was a miracle, and the other miracle was that this Bishop happened to be an "old timer" who had personal knowledge of the family, and was able to get the right information to the family so they could make contact.  His buddy has, of course, suffered from PTSD, and it took him a long time to be emotionally able to make the contact (he said he had that phone number for 2 years before he was finally able to bring himself to make the call.)  He came up here and visited then, and the contact has healed both sides.  I didn't meet him then, but heard about him.  He has committed to come up every 5 years.  Well, a few days ago, I found out there was going to be a BBQ with the family and with him, and that all family members that were interested were invited to go.  I had some last minute complications come up, and thought I wouldn't be able to go, and I was so disappointed I cried and cried.  And prayed.  And, miracles happened, and I was able to go.  It was a fantastic experience.  I learned things about my extended family I hadn't known, and gained an appreciation for them.  I "got to know" my dad's cousin, and my respect for him grew even more.  I heard, from the mouth of his friend, who was trying to get to him when he died, exactly how it happened.  I think the most tell-tale thing was when his best friend said, "We were both married.  We weren't the same faith, but we both lived our faith.  We both lived the way we believed."  That told me more about who he was than anything else.  Family members asked questions, and he answered them.  It was phenomenal---a true privilege.  I also met, for the first time, his daughter.  She was 20 months old at the time of his death.  Last night there was a fireside for the youth, friends, and family, where his friend spoke again.  It was again, wonderful, and I was able to hear and see how other people I have grown up with and respected were affected---and still are affected---by his life and this event.  I KNOW that there was direction coming from the other side of the veil, bringing all these things together, and giving comfort and healing where it was needed.  I never knew him, and yet, the knowledge of this event has been a part of our family's story--our history---and so it has had a profound effect upon me.  I got closure this weekend that I never even knew I needed.  Like I said, it was absolutely PHENOMENAL.  I also realized how important each of we "ordinary" people are.  We all touch far more lives than we will ever know.  And so, on this Memorial Day, I say, "Please thank a veteran.  Please think of those who sacrificed for the freedoms that we and others enjoy.  Our country has some issues, true---but God intended for us to be free, and people paid the price to make and keep it that way.  God Bless America!"

In other news (not so happy), I have had a cough since right after I got back from Yellowstone.  I have hoped it would go away, but it has been pretty persistent.  I just left a message at my oncologist's office, asking what we should do next.  The fear, of course, is that the cancer has come back and lodged in my lung.  I cannot even express how much I long for my former naivete.  I wish so badly I could just go back to being "innocently unconcerned" about each pain and twinge.  But I can't.  My "new normal" won't allow it.  I hope there is nothing wrong, but I guess if there is, I will just do the best I can.  I still believe that God has a plan for me, and I guess I will just have to have faith and wait and watch to see what His plan is.  But, boy, it is not easy.

Well, I had better get going so I can go to bed.  I am planning to go on my son's field trip with his class tomorrow.  I want to be as active and involved as I can with my family, because no one ever really knows what the future will hold.  For today, I feel good and can walk and hike and be active.  I want to enjoy that as long as I can.  I need to get a good night's sleep, so Good Night!