Thurs. Dec. 18, 2014

I just figured something out!  The last few days I have remembered the Priesthood blessings I have been given and the things I've been told.  I have found myself wondering why I am feeling discouraged and afraid, and why faith is coming so hard.  I just now figured out what the problem is . . . it's that I'm afraid it's [the idea that the cancer could just not come back] too good to be true!  That is getting in the way of my faith, because I'm afraid to believe.  So, now that I've figured out where the problem is, I know what to work on.  This may seem little, but to me it's huge.  Now I know what to do, and how to begin working on my faith!

I will still ask the Dr. all my questions---I need to feel good about what we're doing, and I need to understand the rationale for the treatment plan.  But, oh, wow!  Things are going to be looking up!  :-)