Wed. June 3rd, 2015

I went to the Dr. last week . . . was just worried about that silly persistent cough, and the weird shooting pains in my right side.  Sometimes it feels like someone is stabbing me in the chest under the arm, other times it's a sharp pain that feels like it's coming out of my shoulder blade, and other times it feels like it's deep in my breast, near the chest wall.  The Dr. isn't worried about any of it.  He says he hears ALL the time that women are having shooting pains in their chest.  It is probably the result of tissue trying to heal after radiation.  He said it can last up to 5 years.

As far as the cough is concerned, he isn't worried at this point.  He said it's probably due to the radiation damage on the bottom part of my lung, which is now trying to heal.  Then add a little sniffle or something, and the cough is there "to stay."  I don't cough harder when exercising, I don't have excessive shortness of breath when exercising, I am feeling good and don't feel generally short of breath. I have been sneezing like crazy every morning this week, and have begun wondering if I have some allergies???  Anyway, he said if I still have the cough in a month, we can do chest X-rays just to make sure, but at this point, he is not at all alarmed.  That makes me feel so much better!

One of the challenges with this is that it's hard to find the line between being "aware of my 'new' body" and "hypochondriac."  I don't know where the line is!  But it was a relief to hear that the Dr. wasn't alarmed about a cough that has hung on for 4 weeks.  Whew!

In other random thoughts:
My chemo-brain is getting better.  My calling--that I DO NOT love---forces me to try to think through things.  I sometimes get "stuck" and can't think what to do next.  But I think the process of having to think it through is helping me to re-learn.  Seems silly, but it's real.  I can see that I am making slow progress.

I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.  By that I mean, I am beginning to realize that there really CAN be life after cancer!  The further out I get, the more I realize that I could possibly have a future.  It feels great!  Here's hoping my future ends up being cancer-free!!!!!

I heard on the radio that 1/3 of all women will develop some type of cancer in their lifetime, and 1/2 of men.  Wow---I didn't realize it was that high.  Sad.

Well, I better get my kids and myself ready for bed.  One change I have noticed is that I seem to need a lot more sleep now than I did before.  I don't know why.  Good night everyone!